I tell my mom all the time to not believe everything she reads on the internet. Oh sure she says “of course not” but sure enough the next minute she is spouting off some “information” as the absolute truth she read off someone who shared crap on their Facebook wall.
I love it when people share reminders to not believe everything you read on the internet – like a “quote” from Abraham Lincoln about misusing cellphones while driving.
There was one of those lovely “shares” on Facebook that has made the rounds many times and each time I read it, I shake my head, and I feel somehow irritated because I completely disagree with the sentiment even though dozens of my friends (and their friends) agree and type shit like, “amen!”
Here is the quote:
“My parents spanked me as a child – as a result I now suffer from a psychological condition known as ‘respect for others'”.
In a nutshell:
This is bullshit.
I’d like someone to explain to me the correlation between spanking and respect.
I think it is more like spanking and fear. And I’m sorry but fear does not equal respect.
If broken down I don’t think one person who feared an adult, say their parents in this instance, claim they respected them. They feared them. My dad was treated poorly by his father but that wasn’t respect – oh sure, as a kid they can’t quite articulate exactly the difference between fear and respect – but for the parent the result is the same. They look at the kids fear as respect and they are satisfied with it.
I was never spanked by my parents and I have much respect for elders and my parents and adults in general. I respect kids and teenagers too. I actually learned to respect others by what was taught me, directly and indirectly by my parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. And I’m pretty sure beating a kid, spanking a kid, or whatever spin you want to call the action – it does nothing but create fear and a host of other lovely outcomes. I learned to listen to others. To be kind. To be present. To be respectful in my attitude and the way I spoke to others.
I think if you want to spank your kid, hey, go ahead – that’s your business and I could care less. But people need to stop reassuring themselves with the crazy notion that by spanking your kids they will grow up having respect for others.
Because most likely they won’t.